Humour What's That, Scotsmist ?

In the left margin you will find links to pages of jokes about everything else.

Light Bulb Jokes

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - that's a hardware problem.

Q: How many Mac owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't know, Mac owners rather just sit in the dark...

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

Q: How many Windows PC owners does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Just one, as long as you explain it's Plug-N-Play... they get confused if it doesn't come with a driver disk.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - they just document it in the the manual.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - the software code its still at Beta Stage.

Q: How many UNIX operators does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: 1 to set-up the script,
1 to set-up the environment,
1 to start the deamon,
1 to start the job,
1 to kill the job,
1 to examine the output,
1 to print the output,
1 to distribute the output.

Q: How many MS engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just define darkness as an industry standard!

Q: How many Internet mailing list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331:
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers
156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this e mail exchange to alt.lite.bulb
203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we are all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
33 to quote all posts to date, including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.
47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.
143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.