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Humour 
What's That Scotsmist
Beers
Beers!
DOS Beer:
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in 8-oz.
can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However the can is divided into 8
compartments of 2-oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon
to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking
it after it is no longer available.
Mac Beer:
At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz.can. Considered
by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical when
you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is
not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told
that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds
you to drag your empties to the trash can.
Windows 3.1 Beer:
The world's most popular beer("Wha..? How long ago was written?"
- the HellDesk operator). Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like
Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows
you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can
only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking
a Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, a
can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.
Windows '95 Beer:
The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but taste more like windows 3.1
Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only
have 16-oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows
3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows '95 Beer and say they like it.
The ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the
same ingredients that come in DOS Beer, even though the manufacturer claims
that this is an entirely new brew.
Windows NT Beer:
Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truck-load. This
causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The
can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beers, But the company promises to change
the can to look just like the Window's '95 Beer. Touted as an "industrial
strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.
| Credit were credit is due. I do
not know who the original authors are, of many jokes found on my humour
pages. If you are or know who is the original author and can prove
it I will give the credit. Just send me an e-mail and I will get back
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Kindest regards, (webmaster). |
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